Does the Ah Beng mobile have a German cousin? If not, how do you explain the Audi S3 (above)? The three-door hatch has all the prerequisites of a boy-racer. It is loud, it has oversized wheels and is nearly impossible to drive at a sane speed.

It has a high-compression turbo, all-wheel-drive with a differential lock and is nearly impossible to drive at a sane speed.

It has a flat-bottom steering wheel, it thrives on high revs and - if you have not already got the message - is nearly impossible to drive at a sane speed.

Which makes it a bit pointless for folks who enjoy the leisurely cruise to pick up milk at the neighbourhood store or to drop off the kids at the tutor's.

The car has to be driven angrily, with techno thumping from a subwoofer and pre-amp set installed in the sizeable boot. Driven like that, the S3 is a lethal weapon capable of humbling some of the toughest bewinged pimped-up rides in town.

Besides its Godzilla output, the car's most enpowering assets are its quick and super-sharp steering response and immense roadholding prowess.

Its quattro drive, its steely suspension set-up complete with sturdy anti-roll bars and its wide tracks ensure the rubber on its 18-inch wheels adhere like Siamese twins with the tarmac.

The ride is hard but not harsh. It holds up well against cornering forces, allowing the tyres to maintain perfect traction for a swift pull-out.

But despite its ballistic and ruthless show of muscle, the car leaves you a little cold.

First, it does not look all that special. Or handsome. The manual version, like many sporty Audi models, has an all-or- nothing clutch action. Which, as mentioned earlier, makes the S3 a car best driven with vengeful intent.

But strangest of all is it has some semblance of a conscience: a digital gear-change adviser that prompts you to shift up, presumably to save fuel.

This Dr Jekyll attempt at reining in Mr Hyde is quite pointless, really. In a car such as the S3, drivers are likely to shift for fury rather than frugality.

But there it is: an LCD display with an arrow flashing 3 to 4 or 4 to 6. At least it does not do so mindlessly and seems to suit its nagging to the way the car is being driven.

But why doesn't it prompt you to downshift, since being in too high a gear can also be detrimental to consumption (and performance)? Perhaps in the next model, then.

In any case, Audi claims the S3 is capable of 11.8km on a litre, which is remarkable for its calibre.

The S3 is available with a speedy and seamless dual-clutch transmission, too. This version shaves 0.2 seconds off the century sprint and is probably the more usable version on a day-to-day basis.

The car's price reflects its performance as well as its pedigree. But unless you really enjoy driving like a madman all the time, a 200-horsepower Volkswagen Golf GTI makes more sense. It is just as sporty and on the whole, a lot easier to live with.

If you do not need so many ponies, consider the A3 1.8 Sportback. It has 160 horsepower and a super-efficient seven-speed dual-clutch transmission that will still give you a respectable sub-eight- second 0-100kmh sprint time.

If, however, you have street cred to maintain, by all means, go for the fiery S3.

This article was first published in The Straits Times on Nov 29, 2008.

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